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Poems

 

Just recently have I discovered that writing poetry allows one to express oneself far more completely than most other means of self-expression. Not that this is my goal... But it's interesting to observe how feelings shape themselves into words... Really all you have to do is stay back and try not to interfere! :)

 

 

 

 

***

All the tears that I have shed for you
                       shine again.
All the years that were ahead of you
                       yet never came...
All this pain inside that floods my heart,
                       kills my brain --
In millennia to come this is the way
                       it will remain.

I have choked on my words of love...
Hope you've seen the light from above....
Dear friend, my love, stay in peace,
should you cry, let those be happy tears.

As I bid you farewell my lips go dry.
All I know now is I'll love you till I die.

 

*

My love is nothing but a sham,
Can't help it, that is what I am,
I didn't lie, but couldn't hide
From all this pain I felt inside.

I never lied, but my eyes did,
So did my heart, and did it bleed
when love was gone.

The moon was shining ever since,
the stars were bright, all was at peace,
when love was gone.

So here I am, all but a sham,
Again, this is just what I am.
This is my way, the way to be,
the way to love, and die for thee.


****

When I look back, I don't see you.
I close my eyes, still don't see you.
You're in my heart, but when I try
To see your eyes, I can but cry.

I know you're there, unknown, unseen,
forever young, forever in
my dreams, my thoughts, my heart, my soul,
my God, my pain, my love, my goal.

Forgotten will you never be,
nor will you pass away for me,
I don't see you with my mind's eye,
but I'll be part of you in time.


****

Love's nothing but a naughty child,
it cries out loud at dead of night,
it screams and kicks and won't come round
nor let you sleep, but let you down.

But when you're ready for the game,
it slips away, it won't play,
as innocent as a newly-born
it's like a rose without a thorn.

Just show it you're out to play,
it'll laugh at you and run away,
it'll have you cry all through the day,
you'll never have it your own way.

So pale with just the lightest blush
it's creeping in, you hear, but hush!
Stand still, and better hold your breath,
refrain, don't give it one caress.

Just let it vanish in the air,
so gently light and oh so fair,
like seaside breeze run through your hair...
Don't let it see you truly care!


***

I'd say you are naughty, wicked and spoilt,
Just like the kitten I had as a kid,
that fluffy ball that would purr all day long,
then suddenly explode at a maddening speed,
and jump all around and run all around and break all around!

And you're just the same, you would pur in my lap
and wait till I think you are sweet and you're mine
and then run away me still having a nap
and seeing a dream at the happiness prime!
(awake, I sill see you have crashed all around!)

So what do I do? just let go I guess!
For all your bad traits you're still sweet as you are...
And spoilt as you are, but with every caress
I feel I recover and life's not that hard!
And happily jumping, I break all around!


***

I love you at sunset, I love you at sunrise,
Every moment, every hour - I love you.

When I feel your arms around me,
Hear your whisper in my ears,
All I know is I'll love you
through a million years.

Even if your love does fail me,
through the hurt and through the tears
I shall still be yours forever,
In a million coming years.


***

Don't ask me how I love you. Don't you know?
But for this love I'm dead! My grave below
the stars is peaceful as a grave can only be --
yet without you, this peace is war to me.

My world is dark when my eyes don't see you,
with each your smile life starts for me anew...
But go if you must, I'll hold you not!
I have seen you, that's in itself a lot!

What's love? You cannot lock it in a cell,
and if we part -- at least let us part well.

 

***

What can be worse than to know you've been loved,
but now are loved no more?
The feeling's gone,
and so is the hope.

It just so happened. Nobody's to blame,
yet nothing rends your heart as much as this...
Your thougths are dark, your mind's becoming lame...
You'll hardly ever know what is bliss...

Cruel words... mean glances... angry eyes...
Hopelessness is what you feel around.
Look at him... and all those wicked lies
suddenly become so clear! You're bound

to recall, to think, to analyse,
live it through again, refresh each detail.
Try to hide your hurt - through all disguise
it will still be seen, each trembling petal.

 

*

Will you love me like I love you if I tell you that I love you?
Will you want to be my lover if I tell you that I love you?
Will you open up your heart oh will you see how much I love you?
Will you know I'll die of sadness if you don't see how I love you?

*

Then love me! Hold me closer, kiss me tight,
and maybe I'll forget him after all,
and feel more pain, and something deep inside
will tell me my whole life is going wrong...

But I will cling to you with my eyes shut,
I will suppress the tears, hold down my sorrow,
and bury my regrets within my breaking heart,
and smile, and then believe we have tomorrow.

And if you say this isn't what you seek,
that make-believe will never be for real,
well -- you are free, and you can well just pick
the one whose love you think will be ideal.

The choice is yours, and anything you choose
I will accept with no regrets nor doubts.
There's nothing in this world for me to lose
but for the hope that love's not dead
and will give sprouts.


***

I've been looking for you forever...
And yet when I found you I still didn't know
it was you that I found.

It took me forever to realize
it was you that I needed and you that I loved --
I've been looking for you forever!..

 

 

 

                                 Dedicated to ***


And if you say you don't need me any longer,
And if you say you'd better go your own way,
And if you say you'll never get to really know me,
And if you say -- whatever you might say!

And if you think that's something I can't bear,
And if you think I can't put up with that,
And if you think we both are going mad,
And if you think we've broken up for real --

You're wrong my love, I'm worse than all nightmares...
I'll follow suit wherever you might go...
I'll stay in love, no matter how unfair
You've been... Why ? Oh -- because I love you so!..

I love you so much it sends me reeling...
Just disregard the stupid things I do!
My Goodness, I could kill, I'd die for you --
I'll sell my soul for just a bit of feeling...

***


#

Crazy or calm,
Happy or sad,
This is what life is to me -
A distant beat
Of thought in my head,
And maybe a reason to be.

#

Softer than death,
Harder than love,
Beautiful life...
All out of breath...
All out of love...
All out of tune...
All out of rhyme...
Tearing away
Boredom of the day,
Guess we are doomed
To stay awake!
Sweet dreams will float
In the thick dusk...
Oh those purple notes,
And ah - these masks!
Never together,
Though hand in hand...
Searching for pleasure,
That sinking sand...
Beauties or Beasts,
In love or in hate,
Hoping for peace,
Fooling our fate...
Fighting and killing,
Virtuous or sinning,
Never just black or white -
We are but human...
Hurting our loved ones...
Could that be right?

#

But when I know
You're here to stay,
When I know
I am in love -
The world's a swirl
But it brings no pain
And no decision is tough.
And when my friends
Send their smiles across
At me - I know I'm saved.
And all my fears,
The silent ghosts,
Turn into angels or fade.

 


***

Is this what they all sang about?
I mean, is this love?
It caught me completely off my guard,
Tore me apart...

So do you say it is love?
I've never felt it before.
The whirlpool in my heart,
And the stomach sinks so low...

And when I just think of it,
I cease to be...
All upside down, the pulsing beat
In my ears; and my eyes don't see!

So you think it is love,
Oh dear! Now is it for real?
I couldn't sleep again last night,
And I've skipped a hundredth meal...

But is this what love is all about?
I've read in the books
That love walks so tall, never cares at all,
That love can never fall..

***

What is that if not love?

When I think I could f'rever
just be talking to you...
when I feel smart and clever,
just because I'm with you....

What is that if not love?

When you say you laugh with me,
never at me, when I
feel so warm and protected,
when you ask me to smile...

***

Isn't it amazing, the way you make me cry,
set my heart ablaze... How can I say good bye?
Rhyming every breath I take for you and only you --
in the meantime I'm forgetting everything I knew!

You are a disaster in my life!
But you and only you can make me smile...
Trying to break free, I waste oh so much time...
Oh but then I've never felt so fine!

Will this never -- ever -- really stop?
And if it does, shall I lose every hope?
If I break the spell, I'll die or maybe not?
Do I want, now, honestly, to undo this knot?

You and only you are the answer to my thoughts...
With you I'm alive, without you I am not --
Not in pain and nothing even hurts...
It's just the nowhere nothingness of sorts!

Breathless -- 'cos you take my breath away...
Speechless, 'cos what else is there that I can say?
You and only you are on my mind --
Hey, I may be mad, but I'm not blind!

***

All I want in this life is to find my true love,
Someone to love me if I'm good or bad,
Someone to laugh when I'm silly and mad,
Someone to care if I catch the cold,
Someone to give me a ring of gold.

All I need in this life is to be really loved,
To know he'll be there when I'm unfair,
To know he'll forgive me my lies and believe me again.
Someone to love me warts and all,
Someone to give me a ring of gold.

And my dreams, night and day, are all of just one little thing:
I want to be loved,
I need to be loved,
I long to be loved
By someone who's funny and caring and bold,
Someone who'll give me a ring of gold.

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